oh my god how is it possible for you to be that shallow

<3 

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

x)

my keychain

is 98% tony tony chopper

and 2% actual keys

wow. i really don’t like you.

and it hurts for me to say this because it’s hard for me to dislike people. yeah, i’ll admit, some people can be annoying, but would never go so far to say i dislike them. You gotta do something REALLY fucked up for me to even say that i hate you. and there’s very veryyy few people that i hate.

but….

wow.

i honestly dislike you. 

i just don’t fucking like you. i don’t think i ever did from the moment i met you. i genuinely dislike your personality.

like… fuck man. i don’t want to talk to you or hear about you or have anything to do with you.

you are seriously a fake ass conceited judgmental bitch. 

go fucking fix yourself. please.

i just realized i only have one dimple

where did the other one go D: ???

so i was being all depressing today and questioning if i wanted to major in film

and then BAM

hit with another wedding video. ANOTHER. FUCKING. WEDDING VIDEO.

this is unbelievable. i want to cry, i can’t believe how successful our business is becoming and it’s only been a year.

and now i’m all excited, i’m looking through a crap ton of video equipment and it’s making me so freakin excited. Getting a ProArm Jib, a body pod for my stabilizer, a monopod, new lighting equipment, and hopefully some new camera lenses <3 AS SOON AS MY NEXT PAYCHECK COMES. I AM READY TO DROP SOME BIG CASH MONEH ON A VIDEO EQUIPMENT, GONNA BLING UP MY CAMERAS HELLZ YEAA.

It’s safe to say that we are officially booked for the summer.
The weddings are literally back to back, one week after the next
Already got weddings booked for summer of 2013 as well
I was asking for my motivation to come back, and I got it <3
Gonna probably die from making all of the videos BUT ITS OKAY CUZ PURSUING THE DREAM OF A FILM CAREER

so… i get to be a server again :)

…..because i got the job at Mangia e Bevi :))

i start Monday~ yippieeee x) 

lost.

last night i couldn’t fall asleep because i kept stressing about so much crap that i can’t do anything about

honestly, the biggest thing that is stressing me out is getting my acceptance/ rejection letter from UMBC. because i need to know what i’m doing next semester and i need to know NOW. one more semester at MC is really going to drain the crap out of me. don’t get me wrong, the classes aren’t hard at all, i’m not stressed out over grades. It’s just…I feel like I’m going nowhere. I’m loosing motivation. Yeah, I’m a film major, and yeah, I have my wedding video business…. but none of it feels real anymore.

I look back and I feel like I had it in the right direction, then I threw it all away. I had it right in high school and I fucking miss it. I had it right at MICA, and then I fucking left. I felt like I was in tune with who I was at MICA and grew tremendously as an artist. The only reason I left was because I wasn’t doing well socially. It makes me think that was the dumbest reason to leave. I tell everyone I left MICA because of the money, but I honestly didn’t give a crap about the money because I knew I was good at what I do as a video editor and that I could make… I was just… very lonely at MICA. Even with a boyfriend, I still felt lonely.

Going to MC fixed the loneliness, but killed my motivation. I was hoping I could kick back this year, settle down, and figure out what I’m doing for college next year, but it’s only making me more lost. 

i just need to get the hell out of here. if i stay one more semester, i’ll be completely lost with my life. And the thing is, I feel like I’m getting stressed out over nothing. I keep telling myself everything is going to fall into place like it always does, everything is going to be okay, it’ll work out. But at the end of the night, this what I always worry about and I can’t fucking sleep because of it. The fact that my acceptance letter is delayed is making it worse.

I need to relax and look at the better things that are coming up ahead that are certain. I’ve got four Wedding Videos booked, two in New York. I’m making good money, really good money with Panera and Wedding Videos combined. I’m going to NYC with Jon, Juliane, and Jess, then going to Hawaii with the family. And of course, Otakon :). I’ve got a very good chance to be a server at an italian restaurant, which is something I’ve always, always wanted to do. I miss being a server. I’ve got the next two weeks off of work. I have absolutely no boy drama going on, my life has been pretty quiet. Maybe I really do just need to relax. Get some Mac n Cheese and some bubble tea and I’ll be straight.

Tl;dr I just need my fucking acceptance letter for UMBC. 

planning on getting my first tattoo reeeaaally soon

who wants to come with <3?

:)?

so todaaaay :) ~
04/13/12

today was an simple day :] this blog is gonna be some boring poop cuz not too much happened.

got up super early in the morning to work at Panera, then spent the rest of the day with Jason once I got off. it was nice :D we watched Fight Club, then went to Downtown Frederick. Haven’t been there in a while, it’s always so lovely there~ 

Then we went to eat at Mangia e Bevi. Mainly to get an idea of the food, the employees, the service, and the overall restaurant. My interview is tomorrow and I really REALLY have my eyes on being a server here. It’s kind of too perfect. Really hope all goes well~

Looking forward to the next two weeks. I got lucky. A girl I used to work with in Germantown took all of my shifts, so I just need to work Saturday and Monday and I’m off for two weeks :3 Can’t wait, got so much planned ~

so there is my poop of a blog. YAY.

you are the most fucking ridiculously gorgeous girl i know 

you’re only 20 years old

….and you’re starring in porn videos.

GIRL. get the fuck out of those videos, you are WAY too gorgeous and WAY too good to expose yourself in those trashy videos…. do you even realize how amazing you are? at least when you’re NOT naked and being fucked by men.

i mean i guess if you like it, go for it. just keep in mind that you’re waaay too good for that kind of stuff. don’t stoop to that level, you deserve better.

a shallow opinion

i really don’t like beards

like

i reaally reeaaallyy reeeeaaaaaallly don’t like beards

stubble is ok

beard is not ok

k? k.

This is how i look on Mondays (Taken with instagram)